TN couple understands stigma of foster care, stays in contact after foster youth "age out"

Fostering children is a mission for local couple: DCS starts foster parent training program
Tatum. Cheryl. Hendersonville Star News, July 6, 2007.

Over the last four years, more than 30 children have found refuge in the Hendersonville home of Johnny and Rita Parrish.

Mostly teens, these young people have had a laundry list factors placing them in foster care in Sumner County. For some it was circumstances beyond their control and for others behavioral problems lead to their placement in state custody.

But whatever the reason, Johnny Parrish said as a certified foster home he and his wife always have a room ready for children in need.

"We have had calls at midnight, we always keep the room available. Sometimes they stay the night until they see the judge and sometimes they stay longer," he said.

It is homes like the Parrishes that keep the foster care system in Sumner County operating, according to Clifton Funk with the Department of Children's Services (DCS).

Without foster homes, DCS would have an even more difficult time caring for those children whom judges say can no longer live at home.

Currently Sumner County has about 230 children in foster care.

With only 60 foster homes, that means some of this county's children have to go out of county for care.

All parties involved say that is not the in the children's best interest.

"A lot of children are placed outside the county. That makes it difficult for the families and children. They are taken out of their schools, home communities and churches," Funk said.

That is why homes like the Parrishes are so vital, the DCS foster family recruiter said, particularly because Johnny and Rita take teens into their home.

"That is where out biggest need is," Funk said.

For the Hendersonville couple, fostering teens has its own special reward.

According to Rita, providing teens is both challenging and rewarding. Having raised two children of their own, she adds fostering teens provides the opportunity to steer them on the right path for life.

"We are full of love and there are a lot of children out there who are in need of love," she said.

Johnny adds caring for teens does have its advantages.

"They are old enough to take care of themselves and you have the opportunity to make an impact on their lives before they are either reunified with their families or they age out of the system," he said.

Both Johnny and Rita say many of the teens who have passed through their home stay in touch.

"We have a bond with the ones we stay in close contact with, they know they have a forever home here," Johnny said.

Fostering children is calling for the couple who have lived in Hendersonville for 14 years.

"We are a Christian family and we try to never turn away a child unless we know we can't provide for them," said Johnny, who also serves as a pastor for a Madison church.

Funk said for the good of Sumner County children, more families need to share the Parrish's mission.

"We never have enough," Funk said of foster homes.

To help in the recruitment of foster families in Sumner County, DCS is hosting a seminar introducing local residents to the foster care program.

Known as PATH (Parents As Tender Healers) the class is designed to answer questions about foster care and introduce foster parents to those interested in serving children.

Johnny will be an instructor for the series of classes that begin Monday.

"People need to think of their own children and if they have any parenting left in them, the Department of Children's Services needs their parenting skills," he said.

Rita adds that foster children sometimes have negative image, one that in most cases they do not deserve.

"People are quick to judge children because they are in foster care, but they don't know why they are in the system. There are all types of reasons," she said.

Both Johnny and Rita say being a foster parent is not always easy with letting go sometimes being the hardest job of all.

"It's very difficult when they leave, its heart wrenching, but most of the time the teenagers will stay in contact. And, it's easier to let go when you know they are going to what's best for them," Rita said.