Foster children are the community's children

'Any time you can give a child a loving home, that's the greatest benefit'
Anthony, Ashley. Jackson Sun, May 28, 2007.

A CHAT WITH Gwen Ragland, president of The Madison County Foster/Adoptive Care Association Inc.

Whether they have been abused, neglected or orphaned, some children are waiting for a place to call home. May is National Foster Care Month, a time when agencies serving these children try to educate the public about the dire need for more foster parents.

More than 500,000 children were reported in the U.S. foster care system as of 2005, according to Foster Care Month's Web site. Tennessee is home to almost 10,000 of these children.

Some children spend years in foster care before reaching a permanent home. And some never find it before they turn 18. The Madison County Foster/Adoptive Care Association Inc. works year-round to place children in foster homes, and is committed to making the wait shorter.

Gwen Ragland, president of the local foster and adoptive care group, says "the numbers are just too high" and continue to grow.

She spoke Friday with The Jackson Sun about the importance of foster care families and what potential foster care parents need to know if they're interested in making a difference in a foster child's life.

Question: What does National Foster Care Month include?

Answer: It was our aim to make the public aware of the need for more foster homes by recruiting more resource parents and letting the public know the age groups that are needed for fostering in Madison County.

We are planning a silent auction fundraiser. There's no date yet because we're still trying to collect items and donations.

The money would be used for the things that foster parents don't use their government stipends for. That's for basic needs, and just like with anyone's kids, there are always extra needs. We're trying to raise money that goes beyond the stipend that the government gives.

Q: Explain the need for more foster families. Is it more prevalent in this area?

A: What's happening now is that you have a lot of young people that are having children, and you have children that are being removed from homes because of drug use. Whatever the reason the children are being removed from the home, we have to have somewhere to put those children.

Many times there is not a relative who can take them, or they may have to enter foster care until a background check is complete.

Therefore, we need resource homes that will be available by a phone call from people that will say, "Yes, I will take that child." They have to go somewhere. We need new resource homes to accommodate the growing number of children in foster care.

Q: What do people need to know if they are interested in becoming a foster parent?

A: They would have to go through the Department of Children's Services and take path classes. They would need to have a background check and references. There would be home visits made to see that there was adequate room for "X" amount of children. Also, there are safety inspections done.

Some of the classes are for medication administration since there are so many children that take medication these days. There are classes on behavioral issues and parenting.

We prepare the parent for all kinds of children and all kinds of problems that could arise. Whatever problem the child is faced with, we want that parent to be adequately trained to at least begin to handle it.

And there are always resources. We have counseling available and medical services for the children. All of the basic needs are met. They do get clothing allotments.

It's not like the child comes into your home, and you're on your own. There are always resources available to try to incorporate this child into your home.

Q: What makes a good foster parent?

A: That person would need to have that child's best interest at heart and have a love for children. Just know that, that child may not come to you being the perfect little angel, but they still need someone to love them, someone to guide them.

Patience is a good thing to have. The child may not warm up to you the first day they meet you, but in time, they could become the best of friends.

Q: What are the pros and cons to becoming a foster parent, and how can you deal with the cons?

A: It's rewarding to know that you were there, helping to mold this child's future. You played a part in that child's life, hopefully a positive role.

There are children who have gone on from fostering and to college. They're productive citizens. Knowing that you've done something to help that child would definitely be one of the pros to becoming a foster parent.

It's not only that you're giving to that child, but that child is also giving to you. Many people, especially those that don't have children and bring foster children into their home - this is their way of parenting. They have an opportunity to be a parent.

One of the biggest cons in fostering is having to say goodbye. You form an attachment to the child sometimes, and that child has to leave and go back to a relative or back home. That can hurt because you really do form attachments.

There are times when the family doesn't click with the child, the child is disruptive, and may have to be placed with another family. That would be one of the cons because you would hope you could do what you can for that child, but it's not always received by that child for whatever reason.

Q: What can the Jackson community do to contribute to foster care awareness besides becoming a foster parent?

A: I think that when the public hears about events, fundraisers, foster care meetings, anything that's going on in the community - they should take the time to try to find out what's involved. We need everyone.

Just as people say it takes a village to raise a child, our villages are changing. We've got to connect with communities because our homes are looking different. We have families that have biracial, black, white and Hispanic children.

We are a family now. They're children, and when we bring them into our home, they're our children. They're the community's children.

It will take the entire community working together to help these children live normal lives. The association isn't large, so we need the help of the community.

It's not because these children are bad. It could be through a death in the family that the child had to enter foster care. It could be misplacement of a family member or something the child is going through.

There aren't any specific reasons why a child is in foster care. It could be just life, and we try to make things easier so that child can adapt until things get better.

Any time you can give a child a loving home, that's the greatest benefit.

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- Ashley Anthony, 425-9763